1- Not sleeping at night (reasons insomnia,even when I took the whole bottle of the cough syrup yesterday while u said I was sleeping I didn’t sleep up to an hour woke up shaking, others are your sleeping pattern when you snore and the teeth stuff I just lay nd hold ur hands sometimes go help reduce ur stress while u sleep but it doesn’t help either I am not a deep sleeper an hour sleep goes a long way for me and I feel it’s explainable and understandable (you make it seem like I deliberately stay up which is unfair) I have bad dreams I have unexplainable dreams I use to dream nd see my enemy on a horse ridding off a cemetery or falling off a cliff or been tied up seeing peoples death been attacked even killing others in the dream seeing u lie in the dream nd cheat nd have babies with outsiders even seeing my moms enemy nd mine been shot at seeing a baby chickens why on earth will I want to sleep? It’s just too much it was worse way back seeing native doctors in my room then sometimes they pressed my neck nd i was awake seeing them I woke up nd pee on myself I was going through hell in the sleep in reality I had bad relationships to deal with anxiety heart ache I had to be taking pills for a whole year guess what the dream worsened but now it’s better just not as bad as it was if I had the chance to not remember my dreams like others I would take it
2- Pretending to be okay , I always hope for the best and I am terrible at pretending
3-Pressing phone too much
As much as we are in a computer age where we get everything regarding daily living and news online I can say you are right I will try to read books nd do more activities that doesn’t involve my phone all the time
4- pressing my phone while you talk to me
I will say this is done unintentionally , not to disrespect you I always engage in conversations with you and I pay attention regardless of my eyes been on or off you if only you don’t tag this as disrespect you will see it’s not Enough reason to get you angry most times ( the businesses I do I run online I monitor what I do post the feedback I am getting I watch people’s request nd status to see what I can deliver and then on the other hand I try to learn new things daily so no dog dies on my watch )
5- Bank alert this one is one of the most important I must say very little about a solution will always present itself turning alerts off gets to me cus I get stranded most times I can’t open my app but it’s done already and I don’t regret it it doesn’t make me poor in thinking basically these alerts are on the apps why do I need unnecessary messages of same alerts don my phone just to delete them later on yet wasted money in the process (I am very picky when it comes to money management I hate unnecessary spendings just to put money in the hands of ungrateful bastards forgive my language but it is what It is) I didn’t just turn it off I presented several options like my piggy nd zenith mainly piggy a solution you disregarded for same reason as mine (charges) even if you said it’s not about the charges if it wasn’t I feel you would easily have accepted the solution it is either you understand but want me to do it not because it’s best for me or you but because again you tag it as me been disobedient and me not listening to you .
6-Sim network issues
Everyone encounters this issue all over Nigeria regardless of the network of its bad in a location until you move it remains the same (not my fault the location plays a major role at this point) one time you complained about not setting incoming calls to show I didn’t know I had to set it but then I later checked nd did it asap again if a network is shut down all over it remains useless until the server is back on I hav two phone and three SIM cards lost my Mtn it would have been 4 ( my ex forced me to get an Mtn sim cus according to him I need to let go of my old line everyone knows nd I wanted peace in that stupid relationship so why not I got the sim nd now it’s missing my point is I can in turn ask you to get an Airtel Glo nd etisalat line too but I wouldn’t cus I will keep calling until the network goes through two factors that affect the network it’s either the network from the server or dish itself is down or the location the carrier is at is the issue again not the owner of the phone is to be blamed Glo can work perfectly at isihor and go bad when you get to Arougba Mtn works great at Ugbowo bug goes bad when you get to irhirhi this is why you were unable to reach momcy all those times you said her number wasn’t always working try it now it goes effortlessly cus they moved to another location with better reception 😢 this really hurts I won’t lie
7-not doing as I am told
Again there is a truth to this and I won’t lie at all , we make sacrifices for the ones we love we fight hidden battles and still try to be in good shape cus we have responsibilities we are humans and we won’t move everytime I don’t move certain times when I am in my thoughts when I fee I am not been appreciated when I feel belittled I let my emotions get the best of me nd I pray now that I become as strong as you watching you cry and sleeping comfortably or barely knowing my words are hurtful but keeping to my stand still but can I do all these things? I am Ruth but I am not ruthless I am compassionate loving and caring I am like Mother Nature i live to nurture 😞 I am a happy being free spirited and gifted blessed beyond my own imagination I can’t allow myself gee any less regardless if do all these things and I don’t get same energy same upliftment same encouragement i wouldn’t last it would be pointless me existing we play a lot we comfortable around ourselves but I never for one day see you as my equal NEVER I respect the unborn child the very little baby I give my all in anything I do if you think otherwise then I am highly misunderstood most times I am here but not in my body not even in this earth how can I move?
8- Shouting
Unintentionally I raise my voice out of frustration not to be disrespectful but to be heard same thing happened while I was In Lagos while those bastards played with my life and cut down on what I worked for they expected me to be quiet only I knew what I was going through the temptation I fought if I wasn’t smart enough I would have been a scape goat I was accused of something I didn’t do even if I had proofs to clear my name it would have destroyed their home that man nd his wife but I just wanted to come back home he said I raised my voice while I was in tears nd it was disrespectful I am calm in fact when I talk even you always ask me to speak up even my father Inlaw use to tease me about it then so if you hear me speak audibly just know I am at a breaking point and still trying to hold it together
9-Dirty house a house will always get dirty and it will always get cleaned up the reason why it’s much of a big deal now is because I am home nd that’s the only thing I should be doing while you go out to do bolt nd the office work I can understand no one likes a dirty place there’s no excuse to this and one person can’t do it alone I can’t do business care for the dogs the house you and me all by my self but I can try harder you can’t do all the hustling all by yourself that’s why I try too cus I always have, people don’t get cleaners because they are lazy people time will come cleaning your own house will be a privilege cus you find out there’s joy in it but when u are tired nd stressed you just want to lay on a bed after a nice meal give it little more time everything will fall into place we were better when we were dating I can swear this on anything we are good people I just don’t know what exactly the problem is ill likely go to AUCHI for a while so we take out time to be on our own and decide if this is what we really want to argue everything out of anything and ask ourselves why we chose to get married in the first place cus the way I see it I said my vows to you we only had witnesses but no one answered on our behalf it was us so if we can’t get it together then the devil already won and it’s sad
10-No food
I love cooking I loved cooking with you been in the kitchen watching you doing random stuffs the light contributed to the reduction in a way cus food can’t spoil when there’s foodstuffs I have no excuse to not cook even when I am sick I still get to cook there’s no excuse at all , I find ways to be creative to make you happy when I am unhappy no matter the magic my food tastes different and you know this a happy wife is a happy home a happy husband is a happy family I promised to make sorel drink nd fruit salad nd I made efforts I didn’t forget I just need you to be on my side not against me cus I hate the version of me after every years I hate been cold I know how I can be nd I avoid anything that would tamper with my true love if it does nothing wakes it up it’s why I keep making up excuses but then watching me break down I will never be in that place again I am not the little child I was i have to build my home cus this responsibility is forever as God pleases
11- trap music
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